Social media is good for so many things. I think it helps us to connect with likeminded people and can make us feel less alone when we’re going through something.
But, there’s a darker side to social media and that’s the comparison trap. Ten years ago all we had to compare ourselves to were maybe a handful of close friends and a few neighbors. Now, we’re inundated with SO many people’s lives the scope of who we have to compare ourselves up against has exploded. Not to mention, we’re all seeing the highlight reel of each person’s “life.” The stuff they want us to see while hiding the rest.
This comparison trap has led us all to a place where we can often feel less than. We see a woman meal-prepping and say “she does it, how come I can’t make time to do that?” We see a mom making adorable pancakes for their children and think “why don’t I do that for my kids?” We see two friends working out together and think, “ugh! I haven’t worked out in weeks. What’s wrong with me?!”
We’re constantly looking at what we’re NOT as a bad thing instead of embracing it.
Face it: we can’t be ALL the things.
So, instead of looking around and being upset about all the things you’re not. Why don’t declare them and embrace them? Who you’re not is just as important as who you are. When we declare what we’re not and accept them it can stop you dead in your track with the comparison trap. Instead, you’ll find yourself saying “she’s like that…I’m not, that’s OK.”
So, in the spirit of embracing who we’re not, here’s who I am (most definitely) NOT.
I am NOT a fitness enthusiastic
Wow, do I wish I found working out enjoyable or relaxing. I wish I could catch the fitness bug so that I’d want to run a few miles every morning or sweat it out in a group fitness class or loyally go to my yoga class. But, I’m just not that woman. I’ll never have abs, swoon-worthy arms, or a bubble butt (much to the despair of my husband) And, I’ve accepted that I never will be that type of person.
Do I workout? Sure, sometimes. But I do it purely because I know it’s good for my body. Even when I’ve been in a really good routine of working out, I never became addicted to it. I feel good after a workout, but I don’t get that high that I think some people do. I don’t crave it.
My “working out” consists of long walks with the dogs and Miles. (Which, in my defense walking wearing a 14 lb baby in an area as hilly as where I live is a decent workout).
I am NOT a corporate woman
Climbing the corporate ladder isn’t something on my to do list. I don’t thrive on excelling in a traditional career. Right now I’m home with Miles 3 days and I love it. It might seem taboo to say this in 2019, but I ENJOY being a homemaker. I like being home with Miles. I like tidying the house and cooking dinner and taking care of my family. Those things fill my cup.
I know the trend right now is for women to pursue a career and I think that’s great. I’m glad there isn’t a stigma on women that they HAVE to stay home because almost all my friends prefer working to staying home because that’s what fills their cup. I am just not like that.
I’m NOT a jet-setter
I know this generation seems to put a lot of weight on people who travel the world and experience it all…but I’m not a jet-setter. Do I like to travel? Yes. I’ve been crossed many U.S. states off my list, been to Europe multiple times, spent my honeymoon in South America, visited the Caribbean and Canada…and I have a lot of places still to see on my list.
But, the truth is I LIKE being home. I don’t get anxious spending a whole weekend home. I don’t need to be going all the time. Actually, too much “going” actually drains me out (introvert alert.) I’m a homebody. While I like experiencing new places and things, I also really, REALLY like spending time at home.
I am NOT a fashion icon
I’ll always choose comfort over style. While I tried to chase trend and style when I was in my early and mid-20’s, I honestly don’t have the drive or desire to do so anymore. I wear the same three pairs of jeans, pick items that are versatile and comfortable, and can’t remember the last time I wore jewelry besides my wedding rings.
I know this platform I have online have given me the appearance of being a fashionable in some senses, because I do have followers who follow me for style. But, what I’m saying is no one if following me to know what this season’s “it” bag it or how to style the current trendy pieces. You’re here for the simple, easy, comfortable, and affordable.
I am NOT detail oriented.
Measure twice, cut once isn’t exactly my motto in life. I’ve gotten better about double-checking my work, but I’m not someone who can sit down and work on detailed-oriented projects for long periods of time. I enjoy working quickly. I like projects I can complete in a day or weekend as opposed to projects that take weeks.
This has its pros and cons. It means I work fast and get things done quickly. I am very goals oriented. It also means most of my work is slightly imperfect.
So, who AM I?
I am…productive. I’ve always prided myself on my ability to get a lot done in a day. Whether at work or at home. This is partially due to being good at time management as also due partially to one of the above things that I’m NOT (detail oriented).
I am…calm. I rarely worry. It’s very hard to make me upset, frustrated, or ruffle my feathers. I’ve been called “patient” more times than I can count.
I am…compassionate. I care about other people’s feelings. I’ve always been good at tuning in to how someone feels and trying my best to make them feel comfortable.
I am…sure of myself. I really don’t worry about what other people think of me. I’ve accepted that not everyone will like me and don’t try to change myself to fit in. Can’t please ’em all.
So, there you have it. This is who I am NOT. And instead of being bummed that I can’t be better at details, wear the most fashionable pieces, or have a fitness body, I’m just going to accept that this is who I am NOT – which is just as much of me as who I am.